Crunching the Numbers

I'm terrible at math. As in I'm at the mercy of spreadsheets and statistics programs because I never really payed attention in class. Thank goodness Amp and Mr. Kristofer are here to help me with this census. Bet this was not the kinds of numbers you were expecting, natch. I was surprised myself. I did not predict those results. At all.

I have never been particularly kinky. I really did not know what kinks were until I started going to leather bars in Pittsburgh. Oh, did I get an eyeful one fateful Saturday night at The Eagle (sadly, it's gone now). I had enjoyed looking at the paraphernalia before (hello, Honcho magazine!) but I had never actually seen it in action. When I used to go to The Eagle, I usually stayed either in the first floor or the top floor (where the cool music was). I never really wandered to the other floors. We did know that there was some kind of backroom and a full floor dedicated to the leather daddies but I seldom wore leather back then and was always with a group of friends who did not do leather.

But that night it was just Mikey and I and it happened to be leather night and there was an underwear contest. We were, of course, curious. Now, to go in, you needed to be wearing some leather. I was wearing a leather jacket and Mickey had leather boots and Levi's. So in we went. Boy did we get a surprise. Eye opener does not even describe it. Oh, we had fun (I managed to dance with a six-foot-tall bruiser who happened to DJ at Pegasus) and I learned that latex pants are very difficult to take off. 

But I have never really been into kink:

The writer Jillian Keenan reflected, “Kink can be such an orienting force that, for many of us, it even overpowers gender. The term BDSM might be more familiar than kink to readers, especially those older than millennials. BDSM refers to 'consensual practices that involve, but are not limited to, bondage and discipline (B&D), dominance and submission (D&S), and sadomasochism (S&M) … [and] comprised of a power dynamic between partners enacted through various activities.'” (Gemberling et al., 2015.)

@psychologytoday

Have I been restrained? Occasionally. Have I been manhandled? Very often. Have I been gagged and bounded? Yes. Have I enjoyed it? Yes, I have. Do I need these things to get off? Nope. BDSM/Power Play is not my kink, per se. I don't think I have any. I have preferences, but those are not kinks. Power play is attractive to a point, but I do not have to indulge in it to get pleasure. That's why this survey was so eye opening. I am what people know as 'vanilla'. Full disclaimer: I don't think kinks are 'weird' I just think that you need to be wired a certain way to enjoy them. BDSM is at the same time a sexual behavior and a sexual identity (and sexual attraction, of course). But there are many kinks, as we see in this survey and they all have their own... kinks. And they are more diverse than I thought but the most important thing in kink is... consent. 

And remember one man's kink is another man's vanilla. So what's your flavor?

XOXO