Oh, Paul …

 

Paul Mescal makes me feel things and I think it's mainly because he reminds me of a man I dated many, many, many years ago. I was getting out of my teens and skipping into my twenties and I was wild. That's when he came into my life. I remember I met him some random night while hanging out with my friends. A friend of a friend of a friend. You know the drill. But Mescal has the same crazy intensity. Same quiet swagger. Same physicality. Even their bodies are similar. When Paul takes off his shirt or goes around in short pants, I stare. Hard.

He was a guy with ‘a past’, this man I'm telling you about. He seemed somehow dangerous and a little bit off and you know how Oppositional Defiant Disorder works. Some of my friends warned me about him and all that but I, of course, did not listen to them. He seemed to know all the right -and wrong- people and could roll a joint in a second. He was a total darling with me, though, and I of course did not pay attention to the stories of him having ‘a past’. I was infatuated. Dickmatized, if you will. 

He towered over me and had huge hands and the softest skin and beautiful, pensive eyes that he always hid behind dark glasses. I think he only took those glasses off with me, now that I think about it. Whenever we were out, the glasses were on. I think people found that unsettling? I did not mind it at all. He was scruffy, very rough around the edges and not what you’d consider ‘pretty’, just like Mescal. But he had crazy sex appeal. He also gave me fabulous kisses and breathed me in with his hand holding my head and his arm around my waist. 

I melted when that man touched me, seriously. I do seem to have a thing for Trade, daaahlink. Now, I don’t have the slightest idea whatever happened to him, BTW. I lost track of him after we ended things. Even though we were together for three years, we moved in different circles and I never saw him again after we broke up. Pity. 

And that's the feeling I get with Paul Mescal in movies: he reminds me of that man. Now you know. And fresh off All of Us Strangers  he is gonna be in another movie with a queer love story at its center: The History of Sound. And he's going to be in it with Josh O'Connor who was in God's Own Country (another of my fav gay movies). I don't know about you, but when it comes to gay love stories, I'm all for it. Especially if one of the leading men in the movie gives me the feels.

XOXO

P.S. The History of Sound is actually based on a short story by Ben Shattuck that is well worth a read.  Really, I can’t wait for this one to come out…