Oh, Armistead...!

 

Apparently the summer of 1969 was quite the summer for @ArmisteadMaupin. Man went to the moon, Woodstock was a thing and he had sex with a man for the first time. And our first time always stays with us. It's momentous, it's thrilling and it's very, very nerve wrecking. 

I also remember that first man I ever had sex with. And I agree with Armistead. It was a fast but exciting and incredible moment. I had fooled around with some boys, but had never had SEX. As in I was past thirteen - almost fourteen- and had kissed some boys and had let some boys get to first base. Maybe gotten to second base with some older boys. But that was about it. 

Then one day I was alone with one of the older boys (he was about seventeen, and at that age, he seemed like a man to me) and he was very nice, we talked about some stupid stuff (I think it was tv shows?) and then he asked me if he could kiss me. I said yes (little tramp I was) and I let him feel me up. I did the same, and to my surprise, he took his dick out and put my hand on it. I did not know what to do. Was I supposed to just touch it? It seemed way too big, compared to the ones I've felt under other boy's pants and I felt my whole body kind of vibrate, just by holding him in my hand, my heart beating in sync with him. Then he was kissing me, feeling me up and trying to get my shirt off. I kind of froze. As in I literally could not move. My brain was trying to catch up with my body.

Next thing I knew, he was all over me, trying to fuck me. He then pushed in and I panicked and moved away. He came all over my shorts. All I could think about was that I had just been with a man for the first time, that he smelled incredibly good and that I had no idea what to do next. He zipped me up, cleaned himself up and kissed me. And that was it. 

I got back to my house dizzy and literally in a state of shock. I went straight to my room, laid on my bed and stared at the ceiling for what seemed to be hours. I could still feel his touch all over my body. I was vibrating like a fucking violin. His smell (a combination of after shave, soap and some kind of powdery aroma -think Corn Huskers lotion- enveloped me like a cloud) stayed with me for hours. 

I only snapped out of it when I was called to dinner. I imagine my mom and grandmother noticed something was off but I'm sure they chalked it up to me being... me. They probably imagined I was thinking about school or some book I was reading at the time. I sometimes got into moods (I was a teen, after all) and they were used to it. But I could not get the whole experience out of my head. 

I fooled around with him many other times after that. He showed how I could make him feel good and he certainly made me feel good. I lost track of him after some time, though. When I left home for college he was nothing but a good memory, but his smell has stayed with me all these years. Sometimes I get a whiff of a man's cologne that reminds me of the way he smelled and my whole body remembers. The sense of smell is a powerful thing, babes. Like Armistead says, after being with a man for the first time, I felt like a newly minted human being. I felt impossibly grown up (which is a joke, because I was obviously just a teen boy) but the idea of having had sex with another man made me feel... powerful. Almost invincible. Thank goodness I was not on tour of duty and did not have to go back to a destroyer after that. I was not ready for any war games.

XOXO

P.S. Armistead is awesome. One of the first 'gay' book series I read was Tales of the City and I loved them. The series is also on Netflix, BTW.