Love me, love me. Say that you love me...

Images via HOMOPUNK.

Lent you outsidaz and my new Badu
while I was thinking you didn't have a clue
tough to sort files with your voice in my head
So then I bribed you downstairs with a malboro red
so now I feel so small discovering you knew
How much more torture would you have put me through?
you probably saw me laughing at all your jokes
or how I did not mind when you stole all my smokes

And although my pride is not easily disturbed
you sent me flying when you kicked me to the kerb
With you battered jeans and your beastie tee
Now I can't work like this with you next to me

And although he is nothing in the scheme of my years
it just serves to blugdeon my futile tears
And I'm not used to this, I observe, I don't chase
So now I'm stuck with consequences, thrust in my face
And the melodramas of my day delivery blows
that surpass your rejection it just goes to show
a simple attraction that reflects right back to me
so I'm not as into you as I appear to be

His message was brutal but the delivery was kind
maybe if I get this down I'll get it off my mind
It serves to condition me and smoothen mi kinks
despite my frustation for the way that he thinks
and I knew the truth, when it came, would be to that effect
At least you're attracted to me which I did not expect
didn't think you get my number down and such
but I never hated myself for my age so much

Right. As almost always, it's fucking late (or early, depending on how you see it) and insomnia is having a field day with me. But who cares. And as always, I'm trolling the internets (sic) looking for interesting stuff, news and obviously, porn. All the while listening to Amy Winehouse. Because I love that bitch. That's why I'm using one of her songs at the beginning of this post. And because I have this one friend to whom I'm finding myself attached to (not exactly 'like that', because he's in love with another guy and I'm ... well, myself. But it all most probably will get mixed up in my head and I'll end up in trouble. Again.) and I just gave him a copy of Amy's 'Back to Black' and he seems to like it, too. And most probably I'll be burning 'Frank' for him next. Because that's the way my stuff with some guys goes.

But anyway. In my foray through cyberspace I found two very cool sites. And between curiosity and lust (curiosity about the cool sites and lust, because I ended up really into one of the videos I found in one of them and I had to polish the bishop right then and there) I found myself with material to write my post today. Funny enough, I first encountered HOMOPUNK, with its crazy mix of art and soft-core and then I re-encountered Plushie Schwartz whom I once posted here with a VERY hot video, doing the nasty while wearing a bear costume (hot as hell) and voila! the horny thoughts started. BTW, you should check out his site. The video I'm talking about should be somewhere in this blog but I am too lazy to even look among my old posts. Anyway, Plushie and Homopunk had all these hot guys (unpolished, or de-polished which I think is the best way men you can enjoy men) and suddenly, there it was this guy, looking at the looker straight in the eye and something in me clicked, and I clicked on the picture to watch him get naked and busy. Man did I get a boner watching that guy. And because now I sleep in my own bedroom (oh, it's too long to explain, just take my word) I took the matter in my own hands. And it was GOOD.

Only after I came, I came to realize that I had just jerked off to an image that reminded me of this one friend I have I mentioned above (let's call him T). Freaky, huh? How your body betrays you before your mind registers the infidelity. But it was good. I'd be willing to go for seconds. And most probably will. Only thing is, I know I won't look at T the same way again. When I see him, I know I'm going to be wondering about everything I have not seen but that I've imagined today about him and his body. Funny, huh? But I should have known. After all, I can't wait to say hi or 'bye to him. Because he hugs me every time we meet or say farewell. And all I can think of is that I want him to keep saying 'hi' or 'bye' to him. For a long time.