Changes

I used to have a vision
I was sitting
Somewhere up there
Looking down on myself
Doing right
For once in my life
It changes
Hope my life changes
Gets alright somehow
Oh
I'm waiting for tomorrow
I hope it changes
Can't you stay the same
Been out of luck
For so long
And I don't get much
So there's nothing
Much to lose

Will Young

I'm going through one of those 'transitional' phases... I'm moving to another city, there's nothing certain about my current job status and I'm thinking that going to South America may be a good career move... so go figure. I really feel like it's all a hurdle, a pain, a mess. It's been a long time (even since I was a teen) that my life has been so.. uncertain, so open to failure and success, so in a tightrope. Butterflies in my stomach, but nervous ones. Days that go by and only stop for a second when the postman arrives... and then on to the next one.

And thanks for your kind words (you know who you are) I am tying to deal, I am keeping my emotions in a leash, I am being more attentive, more loving, less instinctual. I am appreciating what I have and I am opening myself for whatever may come. Material things have never been my bread and butter, and they should not start being it now. If it's time to let go of many things and comforts, I think it may be then time to do it. It may be difficult to let go of some dreams, but we all know that the only certain thing is that there's nothing certain...