I have never dated a black man.
There, it's out and in the open. I have wanted to, mind you, but I have never actually done it. I have never fucked one, either. The closest I got to getting it on with a black man was when I was fooling around with to two watered-down versions I met when I was younger. They were cousins and I did one and then the other for awhile. Never at the same time, though. That may have proved to be fun. The dick was good, but there was no substance there. They were kind of black-lite, no real connection to the idea I have of what a black man actually is. And what is that, you ask? Well, a black man needs to have first of all, dark skin or some kind of African heritage. The guys I handled (literally) were more of the kind that fit the description of 'a quarter' black or maybe octoroons and I would describe them as being more Latin than black. When I talk about black I think more of the Denzel Washington kind of black man than the Vin Diesel kind of man if you get my drift.
I have then not succumbed to the lure of the Mandingo, or have not had the chance, in any case. I remember I have seen many black men naked -and aroused- but have always thought better about it and have left. I know. Cockteaser. But it's that it has never felt 'right'. Not because they were black, but because I somehow am not good for casual sex. I know, funny. But that's a whole different post. Those black men I have seen 'au natural' and ready were mostly men I met in bars or clubs and who seemed to be attracted to me but were either too shady or sleazy or both. No deal.
Now back to the black men I have never fucked: I think that the eroticization of the black male is the story of legend by part of the white population, who has always been weary of the prowess of black men in bed ever since the time of slavery and the efforts of some black men to perpetuate that stereotype. But I think that indeed too many white masters were afraid of the strong black males they had under their control and took to make them 'less-than' a man in order to keep them in their place is a society that was artificially created to favor white people.
That fear was probably unfounded, but in a country like the United States, with its deep-running race problems and hyper-sexualization of anything and everybody, it's not strange to find this pattern of fear and attraction still repeated these days. I do find black males -the ones I have met personally- to be more on the side of the Latino man than on the European man: fun loving and ready to take pleasure whichever way it comes from when his masculinity is not threatened. They will fuck you if they get to be on top. The same legend that sets them apart from the -apparently- less sexual white man, threatens to castrate him: they have to always be the aggressors, the macho men, the dominant partner in order not to lose face, to keep their 'street creed' intact. There is no vulnerability in the black men who have sex with men (and notice that I don't talk about GAY black men, because those seem to be kind of scarce) and they prefer to be on the down low and take their pleasure as it comes than actually declare that they may be 'less-than'. Notice the disclaimer of 'for the ladies' in the hot youtube videos of black men dancing. Just in case anybody would think that other males are looking at their junk... it freaks the hell out of them to think that other males are lusting after them and still, they parade their beauty for all to see... contradictory, I know. But such is the world of the exhibitionist.
Even though they may prove to be lousy lays, I think it is a pity that I have not gotten to fuck a black man -or having been fucked by one, which is what I would actually prefer- in all these years. The people who know me would say it speaks poorly of my sense of adventure and of my desire to broaden my horizons in bed and beyond. Or is it maybe due to the fact that I have not met one that would actually be worth the effort? But in any case it's not like I could make up for that any time soon, given that I am supposed to be in an exclusive relationship and have no time or stamina to get involved with anybody else right now. But there's always the future, don't you think? And one has to keep his mind open....