I've posted about this before. One of the things they say really struck me: if you don't see yourself represented in media, you feel annihilated. That is true. Typically we see very specific types of representation and most times, we’re not seeing ourselves or anybody who looks like us and that is kind of crushing.

This is why creating a community is so important. This is why sites like Tumblr flourished. Because queer people that did not conform to gender or body image norms had a place to gather and share ideas. There is not one way to present the male body that's more acceptable or palatable than other. Individuality has and needs to be respected. Not everybody fits the mold of the hyper-curated body we see in the media. And that 'normal' body needs to find itself reflected in the product we consume.

Being body positive starts at home. We all have that quirk about our bodies that we think it's just not 'perfect' and that sometimes affects our sex lives. We have to confirm that we are attractive but we should not fall in the trap of assigning a label to ourselves in order to validate our existence. And we need to see people like us in media to help assert our position in life. When we see diversity, we are more able to both see ourselves and others. So let's watch porn where not everybody is the same race and has the same body type. Let's go to movies that have diverse casts, let's Netfilx and chill with something that is not the standard Hollywood fare. Let's read subtitles once in a while.

We need to go against the whole idea that there is ONE way to be and that that way to be is dictated by what we see in the media. If the media does not offer us alternatives, we look for them. There's many ways to offer representation and that has to start with us. That's right, it has to start with the man (or woman) in the mirror.



  1. fat ladies are portrayed as stupid or eating constantly or or or...

    I am an intelligent, confident, assertive, senior, fat chick. why can't we see THAT? or is that too much for hollyweird to understand?

  2. This is a great post. We need to believe that it’s ok to be us. Would I like to be 180 pounds and jacked? Maybe. But then how does that affect who I really am? Does that then affect my relationships? Are people approaching me for how I look or for the real person in that body? And, conversely, does that affect the personae that I project? This is an alternate reality that can quickly spiral out of control.

    No, I may not be buff and hung, but like Anne Marie, I’m happy with who I am, and the relationships that has brought me.

    XOXO 👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨

  3. Could not agree more.
    I mean if we all looked alike it would be dull up in here. I like some variety in my people.

  4. Variety is me! An acquired taste lol

  5. I agree with John, variety is the spic of life. I know I'm not hot like a male model, but I don't want to live like one either. There is something for everyone out there. We won't be everyones cup of tea.

    And having met Anne Marie, she is correct. She is an intelligent, confident, assertive, senior,chick. And she is my friend. Whether her tits are on the table or not!!!! lol!!!! Love you girl!


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