OMG this looks like so much FUN! And I wanna do it. Mind you, I still dream of one day doing what Maddie did in Europe, but meanwhile... here's this idea: Mermaning. Right. Of course that's not a word but bear with me. This looks like seven tons of fun. I have to confess that the idea of being a merman is a pretty cool one: you get to live underwater and your movements are going to be super graceful and you get to talk to little fish.
Besides, I really like Tran France (one of the Queer Eye guys, if you didn't know) and I find him very charismatic and stylish. After all, he's the sartorialist of the group. He's become quite the personality online and his videos are super cool and entertaining. He brings his unique British sensibility to things we consider mundane in America (not like strapping on a merman's tail is mundane, but yo know what I mean) and as a gay man of color, he creates some sorely needed intersectionality. In this video he hangs out with one of his girlfriends and goes to a place where they teach you how to ... Merman? And they provide the tail! I was not very keen of the manta rays in the tank, but hey, I'll take them as long as I get to fulfill a fantasy I've had since I was eight and I played with my sister's toy mermaid.
Oh, yeah. I used to play with one of my sister's toys. It was this mermaid with red hair and ruby lips that apparently could swim. I paired her with my toy soldiers and action figures and she always rescued them. I remember my grandma would come and get me in the backyard because it was dinnertime and had to convince me to let the toys be for awhile and go eat. I would create these elaborate scenarios where all the guys would have to go to the bottom of the kiddie pool because their boat had sunk and the mermaid would rescue them. Of course, she was rescuing them but G.I. Joe would always end up with Ken in an island. But that's another story.
Anyways, back to Tran France's video and mermen. You know I'm all for shattering gender expectations and it IS expected that if you are going to be an imaginary being who is half fish and half human you ARE going to be female. And white. AMIRIGHT? Yeah, there was a huge stink of twitter (where else?) when it was announced that the actress chosen to be Ariel, in The Little Mermaid live action remake was going to be... black? Because white fragility is a thing, people went around throwing ash on their hair and screaming SHAME! because a fictional character was not going to comply to their White Nationalist fantasies.
So yes, for Tran and his fish tail. I know I won't be in the Las Vegas vicinity any time soon so Lake Michigan will have to do.
Also, this is not the first time a guy wants to be a merman, and I'm here for it.