the way that it is
When Walter was talking about the 'soft around the edges' man in a post back, I started thinking about this video by Davey, where he talks to a nudist. A nudist that just happens to be gay. He's got some points that are worth revising:
One: One does not have to meet up to anybody's expectations of what means to be handsome. What we need to do is to define handsomeness in our own terms and learn to see that in others.
Two: Nudism is not about sex, but there's an intersection. Of course we are going to think about sex when we are naked in front of other naked men, but hey.
Three: Being naked and free has to do with how we feel about ourselves. And this is key. I think we should be naked more often. When we are naked there's nothing to hide behind and I think that's what makes it difficult. Especially in public.
Four: You'll always find somebody who's more or less 'something' (taller, shorter, hairier, thinner) than you are. We have to celebrate other people's differences, accept them and enjoy them. And I think here's where I differ form the garden variety gay: I like men who are not like me. I like them taller, brawnier, more seasoned, with a touch of experience.
Five: As gay men, we should try nudism even if only once. It'll help us look at someone in the hart, not reducing men to their size (body, dick, muscles). We are not our clothes or our bodies, as Paul says.
Six: The messages we get from (gay) society: small here, big there, etc need to be discarded. We need to celebrate what makes us happier, we need to celebrate what we consider to be our weakness. And here I agree with Paul again, that's hard thing to do.