.... just a bookstore

While watching this documentary (right before Jimmy actually recommended it to me, because of course!) I vividly remembered the impact of seeing a gay magazine for the first time had in me. I think the experience made me catch my breath and it made my heart beat faster. Then and there I just knew I had to have that magazine. It was expensive, I think. Or at least I thought it was expensive. That's one of the things I remember. But I got the money for it and I went and bought it. I remember the guy who sold it to me looked at me twice but at the end, he handed me the magazine. I guess I looked young to him, but what the hell. I had the magazine. I could not wait to get home and open it. I really wanted to take my time and go over it.

And I did. I had read erotica by the time I got that first gay magazine, but nothing had prepared me for actually having in my hands pictures of handsome naked men engaged in sex and in the most salacious poses. It was fantastic. They were also doing the things I knew men did together. And the stories! Oh my god, the stories. It was the first time I was reading erotica that spoke to me directly. Stories of love and lust between men. Stories of fucking in bedrooms and playrooms and indoors and outdoors. Stories of sweat and cum. One handed reading, my one friend called them. And he was right. Because one hand would hold that magazine and the other would get busy.

I discovered there were many titles. There were rough men and slender men and big, muscular men and leather men, and all kinds of men. And I could not get enough. I ended up with a ton of magazines stored safely in a closet. I read them and re-read them and I guess that's where I get my penchant for gay novels and gay erotica. I have always found that I really enjoy reading erotica almost as much (or even more) than watching porn. Porn is very immediate, it gets to the point and gets things done. Erotica has that slow simmer that makes me enjoy it more. At least, that's how I see it.

I have not had gay magazines for a long time. I think I gave them all to my friend Mickey when I moved out of Pittsburgh. So when this documentary Circus of Books popped up in my Netflix radar (I know, Jimmy, we have that connection!) I immediately threw some popcorn in the microwave and got ready to watch it. It was showtime. Because even though I did not go to a an actual adult bookstore until much later after I bought my first gay magazine, I still remember the thrill of seeing all those titles up in the shelves. Literally like a candy store. Later I got into porn videos, but I have always had a soft spot for gay magazines. I think they don't publish them anymore. I wish they'd do. It's been forever since I've seen gay porn magazines anywhere. And that’s a pity.

I think the last time I saw gay porn magazines was in a gay bookstore in Austin, last year. I think I literally squealed and jumped to browse them. It was a blast from the past, going over all those second hand magazines, and even though flipping through them did not give me the same thrill I felt that first time I looked into the eyes of those beautiful men, I still felt the old tingle to mingle. Old habits, am I right? I did not buy any magazines that day, alas. We were driving around and I did not want to carry them through Texas, natch.

So if you have Netflix, go check Circus of Books. You’ll learn about the straight owners of a gay smut shop and discover that it’s easy to be an Ally until one of your children comes out. You’ll also see a familiar face: Alaska Thunderfuck worked there pre-Drag Race game. It will also take you to the time when gay bookstores were the place to go get your kicks. Both figuratively and literally, in many instances. Now we have the internet and PornHub and Chaturbate and Only Fans and many, many outlets that allow us to ogle beautiful men. I wonder, though, if it's still the same for the gaylings of today, if they feel the thrill I felt when I bought that first magazine and I took it home, heart beating fast.

Oh, the good old times before the internet. Ok, Boomer!

XOXO