Adam Male

Yeah, yeah. I know. You don't like toys, blah, blah, blah. Or maybe you just don't like talking about sex toys. Oh, you're not alone. many men refuse to talk about sex toys. It's like a dirty little secret or some kind of guilty pleasure (literally). But I do like to talk about sex toys. They can be tons of fun! But not everybody enjoys them. Sex toys are like every other thing in life. Let's say, they're like driving, for example. Some people like to drive a stick shift. Some people only do automatic transmission. Some people can drive either. It's just a matter of how is it that you like your cars.

But really. I cannot understand the reticence that some gay (and straight) men show when it comes to talking about sex toys. Every time I go to a sex shop there's like a dozen dudes roaming around and maybe one girl. And maybe one couple. So what the hell are those men doing there? Looking for a hammer? Even though women seem more open to talk about sex toys (oh, the DMs and texts I've gotten!) most men demure when it comes to talking about dildoes or sleeves or even the Fleshjack for Pete's sake. That is, unless they are into some kink. When men have a kink, talking about sex toys is just part of the convo. 

But kinksters are usually uninhibited and do not really mind talking about whatever toys they use to enhance their fun. I've gotten an earful every time I've asked. But they've given me good guidance. At the end of the day t's finding what works for you. It's like finding a car you really like to drive. And as it is the case with cars,  I'm not a connoisseur, but I have explored some sex toys here and there. And to tell you the truth is that I have only gotten into some toys lately, and by lately I mean the last few years. Before that, I was quite unaware of them and even unimaginative when it came to their use and never really thought about dropping by my local sex shop and grabbing some goodies. The only thing I usually stocked on was lube, condoms and the odd leather cockring. For the longest time I wore one or two as bracelets. The good thing is that most men in my life have been open to talking about or using sex toys, even though some of them have drawn the line at 'flavored lube'. And I don't mind that. Really. Even though I think that couples could (and do!) have more fun with the addition of a sex toy, I secretly believe that  they work much better when you try them solo. Have you seen how many Cam Boys making a coin with a prostate stimulator are out there right now? You drop that token and it's heaven. It's a win/win situation.

The idea that nobody knows our bodies like ourselves may be true (women have been demonstrating that for years and years) most men would only confess to liking toys under torture or after a very effective blow job. And I think there may be a hint of misplaced self-importance in it. It's some kind of "am I not good enough for the deed?" kind of attitude (same with Viagra, but that's another post). And sex toys may be something that we come to think about after we've had some experience. I never thought of toys when I was in my early twenties, for example. But back then sex was urgent and slightly careless and a little rushed. I think that with age I have fallen into a more sensual, slower-paced approach to intimacy. Fucking is a more tactile act now and therefore the idea of enhancing it or extending the pleasure is not something that seems alien or misplaced. I also know my body better.

I think I may not as adventurous as Adore, though. I am willing to try a sex toy or two but I think that toy that's been recommended for edging may be a little bit too much for me. Too many little cables. I would put that in the same category as those buttplugs that are remotely operated using an app.  And let's not forget about the cock cages. I'm not THAT gutsy. After all, I've never learned to drive a stick shift. I feel more comfortable with automatic transmission. 

XOXO

P.S. I really like Adore.