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I like the idea of 'doing stuff with your man'. You see, the thing is, the relationships where the man I'm seeing/dating/ and I have not shared many things or have not have many things in common have always crumbled, no matter how well they have started. The men with whom I've had the longest relationships (and with whom I have stayed friends after the breakup) have always shared some things with me. Be it love for music, a penchant for movies, reading the same books, sharing the same profession or even the same political views, those things have usually helped the relationship at many levels.

The thing is, I usually tend to get in relationships with men who are my total opposite, both in physical appearance and in character, and having things in common has always been of great help. There's sometimes been challenges (who hasn't got those? The struggle is real) but most of the times, the longer the relationship, the better we get along, and the thing or things for which we both feel passionately usually help intimacy. I sometimes look back and realize that the short relationships or the ones that ended badly (oh, some have ended very, very badly) were with men with whom the chemistry was incredible at the beginning but with whom I had very little in common at the end. 

It helps to be your man's best friend, I imagine, even though you're boning him hardcore. When the sex is good but there's very little besides it, you know you're going to have to work extra hard to keep that relationship going. Dickmatization will take you only so far. That's why this video kind of brought a smile to my face. I knew about Patrick Ta (he's got a very cool line of makeup and is a very talented makeup artist who does famous models and actresses) but had no idea he was Ty's boyfriend. Ty? He's very cute. But what I noticed is that they have an easiness around each other that you can only achieve with intimacy. And intimacy comes from having things in common. What is it that they have? You go figure it out. But it was fun to watch them together. The banter, the looks, the laughter. Bet they have fun together, even when we're not watching.

XOXO



Comments

  1. They are a very cute couple and have an easiness between them. Nothing seems forced.

    I agree that it’s important to have some compatibility outside of the bedroom for a relationship to work. If that’s the sole foundation of a relationship, it will come crashing down quickly.

    XOXO 👨‍❤️‍đź’‹‍👨

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They are adorable!
      And being compatible when not boning is essential. Otherwise, what are you gonna talk about after you cum?

      XOXO

      Delete
  2. They are too cute... like manufactured cute! Oh, to be a boy. How fun for them. Relationships. Yeah. I am not a winner. I commit way too soon and don't wait until all the cards are on the table. So... there are always surprises. Little frogs. Oh, this one? Yes, yes... I think I can mange that. Oh, this one? Ummm. Sure, no problem. What's this? Oh. Well. That's unexpected... give me a sec. Okay. What else? It goes on and on. Here's the real cruncher though... we are ALWAYS sexually incompatible. It may start out all promises and raging hormones... but it always quickly resolves to the faucet being turned firmly off. Which always left me in a dilemma, until the most recent BF. Open relationship, baby. And deal with it. Cuz that is what I need. And he was cool with it. Intellectually? We are a total match. I get him. He gets me. I am happy to see him. He's happy to see me. But I have to keep part of myself separate and always meet those needs of mine elsewhere. Oh, well... beats what would happen in the past... with me cheating and feeling guilty. Oh, I still feel guilty... but at least its not cheating. Intimacy is fun. It's a goal. It's typically easily achieved if you are with the right one. Kizzes.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ha!
      Yes, boys in love are adorbs. And I think we all have to go through some relationships to really find what is it that works for us. I've made some mistakes, trust me. I've kissed some frogs who have never really made it to Prince Charming. One thing I've discovered is that mismatched libidos are the rage. We are all at our best during the honeymoon period but then we go back to our base. And that's where problems arise.
      Been there . And intimacy is the best. Opening a relationship is sometimes the only way to save it. And some are worth it.

      XOXO

      Delete
  3. That Ty is so cute you could eat him with a spoon.
    The odd thing about Carlos and me is that we have some differences. His pop culture knowledge begins and ends with Ma-dough-na [how he pronounces it] and he is much more clinical and precise than I am. I more more artsy, loud, boisterous [in the right company] and creative.
    But it works because we enjoy sharing our likes and our differences.
    Plus, you know, love.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL Yep, Ty is delicious.
      But I don't think it's odd that you two have differences. Same with me and almost any man I've had a relationship with. I think that's what makes us a couple: enjoying how different we are.
      Plus love, that is.

      XOXO

      Delete
  4. I don't know a couple in a long term relationship who are best friends. There are subtle gives and takes. What makes them successful is their ability to manage and adapt.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. But Dave, to be able to give and take you have to be able to be a friend to the person you're with. Managing and adapting is what makes mending friendships much easier than mending broken relationships.

      XOXO

      Delete
  5. What a cute couple. Both gorgeous boys. You sound so 'lesbionic' keeping your ex's as friends. It would be very hard (impossible) for me.
    My husband and I met at the opera. Both of us out of previous bad relationships, decided that our relationship would be based on never telling what the other couldn't do. (ie....me jumping horses around the south east, or him writing a book in Macedonia.) We are total opposites and very similar to 'Eric and Leonard' from the Catherine Tate, British TV show. LMAO!!!!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. *Derek and Leonard

      Delete
    2. They're so pretty!
      And I do have that lesbian trait: I am friends with some of my exes. And their husbands! LOL.
      And not telling what the other couldn't do sounds like a great strategy to me. It's worked for 32 years....

      XOXO

      Delete
  6. The sex doesn't last forever - witness my M.D. that robbed us of that about 12 years ago. The only way to have long-term is to be best friends. That's why we'll mark 35 years this September. We had things in common before we dated. But there are also differences. The best thing: We still laugh together. Sure we each get pissed about things, but you learn to let most of it go because, well, dishes in the sink isn't the end of the world even if the dishwasher is right there and empty and it would take all of an extra two seconds. Grrr. Also, allow time and space for separate interests. "Me time" is important and I'm not just talking about masturbation - painting (her) and writing (me). XOXO

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are exactly correct. BTW,...32 years together here.

      Delete
    2. Nope.
      Sex doesn't last forever. It's something that many people do not take into account. Laughing together and having things in common are of outmost importance, I think. As well as 'me time'. Giving the other space is always a plus.
      35 years, huh? Nice.

      XOXO

      Delete
  7. That's absolutely right -- for an enduring relationship, there must be a solid foundation of friendship and some interests in common. Sexual compatibility is the icing on that cake.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Exactly!
      It's the icing on the cake. Not the cake. And many people forget that. The relationship needs a strong foundation because the storms are gonna come. Be it sex or money or family, the storm is gonna come. And it's better to be prepared.

      XOXO

      Delete
  8. I agree with you. I'm much like you. I like to have a lot in common with interests. But when it comes to dating in the looks department, I generally like my complete opposite. Those gays couple who date and settle with those who look like there brother , grates on my last gay nerve, and I also find it very creepy. If I wanted to fate myself, id go to dinner and come home and fuck myself.

    Now I think I need to be sandwiched naked next to Ty.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's essential for me.
      I think when I start going out with a man is one of the things I need to be sure of: that we like some of the same things. Yeah, boning is fun, but what I want to keep him around for awhile? And I usually also like them the total opposite physically. The gay twin couples are somehow disconcerting. It's like fucking yourself. And not the fun way.
      And isn't Ty fantastic?? That body!

      XOXO

      Delete
  9. It's necessary to have something beyond sex for a couple: otherwise it remains a relationship cemented solely by sex. I don't want to devalue sex for sure. But in the long run only sex can be boring. So either there are other things in common (musical tastes, a project, an idea of how to spend free time ...) or the couple doesn't last long. And this is true whether it is an open couple or a truly monogamous or monogamous couple, but secretly polygamous. I can say this, because I have known all kinds of couples.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's true.
      Sex alone cannot sustain a long-term (or mid-term) relationship. There needs to be something else or any disagreement will just make the relationship implode. And on to the next one. And that can be exhausting.

      XOXO

      Delete
    2. implode or vanish like gas! because the relationship is too light and not anchored to something solid.

      Delete

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