Oh, Jon.
Living in that kind of solitude could be brutal. And it's not that I don't enjoy my own company, mind you. I don't mind being alone periodically, but I don't know if I'd have Jon's resilience to be without any affective links for such long periods of time. Come to think of it, ever since I was a teen, I've always been in some kind of a relationship with another man. I've had consecutive and compound relationships, but basically, I've always been in a relationship with someone.
I have had periods of not being attached to anybody (not even a fuck buddy) but those have have been far and in between. There's always been someone in some capacity or another. I know people who have been alone most of their lives and it does not seem to bother them at all. Maybe they're Asexual? Maybe they don't really need companionship too much? Maybe it all comes down to temper? Who knows. I know people that say they prefer to live on their own and have pets or hobbies or something that helps them pass their time without having to have interactions with people outside their job or everyday things like grocery shopping or taking the car to the mechanic.
I have found I tend to gain new interests when I'm with someone. They make me curious about life. It can be because we have things in common and connect both intellectually and physically or because I've discovered something new when we're seeing each other. The idea of living alone in a cattle farm in the middle of nowhere is daunting, to say the least. Living with someone there? That could probably make up for the isolation and the pressure of the crops (or in this case the pressure of having a cattle farm that contributes to global warming) and if both like life in the countryside, why not? I could even try it, even though I'm a city boy who has ridden a horse three times and who'd rather ride a cowboy, but hey.
I think Jon is very brave. There is a slight melancholy in him, though. I felt like I wanted to give him a hug the whole time I was watching the video.
XOXO
P.S. while you're here, check this one out:
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it is lack of affection but also of sex. Then one gets used to it, but it's still a bit of a sad life. Unless one can find a soul mate like in the second video.
ReplyDeleteExactly!
DeleteIt's almost monastic by force. I imagine people can get somehow used to it, but I agree that it would be a difficult life.
XOXO
Farming has to be a fairly lonely life to begin with. Coupled with being gay must add to that if you aren't able to find someone. The second dude is lucky to have found someone who is able to live that life. XOXO
ReplyDeleteCan you imagine living in the middle of nowhere, next neighbor two miles away and the possibility of socializing reduced drastically? Nowadays we have the internet, but does it get everywhere?
DeleteThe second guy did hit the jackpot.
XOXO
Farmers are a different breed, especially in this day and age when Corporate Farms seem to be winning all of the battles.
ReplyDeleteOh, Absolutely.
DeleteThe land demands complete dedication and you are usually born into farming. I cannot imagine now much they have to battle the big, greedy guys.
XOXO
Wow. I used to spend my summers on my aunt’s farm in southeastern Minnesota. I learned to drive on a tractor. It is a very hard life and is very expensive: farm implements can be upwards of $100,000. You invest in the land and livestock and you’re at the mercy of the markets. At the end of the growing season, you’re betting on next years prices.
ReplyDeleteAdd to that the innate desire for companionship, I can see the pressure a farmer is under. In rural areas it has to be practically impossible to find someone when you’re gay. Equate Jon’s situation in Australia with someone in Wyoming or another low population state here in the US. Those areas here are very red and conservative. Wyoming was where Matthew Shepherd was murdered. It is not a very welcoming environment.
I’m glad Andrew, in the second film, found his companion. I hope Jon can do the same. Maybe this film will open new possibilities for him.
XOXO 👨🏼❤️💋👨🏽
So you're a Midwestern boy through and through, huh?
DeleteWhen I see the machinery they use I can see why it would be so expensive. LIke Jon, everything depends on the future, nothing is really certain for them. I would not be able to do it.
And I totally agree it would be super difficult to be gay and a farmer. Not only for the isolation but for the conservative-by-default setting. Wyoming *shudders*.
The second video was so optimistic I had to post it. And I was thinking the same about Joh. He's so handsome and such a hard worker. I hope someone comes knocking and makes him happy.
XOXO
I like what Whack and Dave said. I've known people like Jon; in a monastic setting and in the outside world. Subconscious choice or avoidance??? Not many can live that life. For some reason, it makes me think of Stephen and how he is doing.
ReplyDeleteIt is like being a monk!
DeleteI think some men are just born into it. If the family has a farm, they are probably expected to take care of it when they grow up. And no, not many can live that life.
And I agree with you about remembering Stephen! OMG yes. He has not written in a long time Hope he's ok.
XOXO
I adore farms and farmers. I've written a number of times about my affinity for farmers... in fact, one is my 'the one that got away'. When I moved to Iowa it was my plan to rent a farmhouse in the middle of the country, but because my then partner decided not to join me, it never came to fruition. I would move to a farm in a heartbeat. As long as we had wi fi. LOL. To go it alone? I wonder. I sometimes think I would be less frustrated if I was alone. A lot of my emotional energy is spent feeling guilty because I am so selfish with my personal time and energy. Others constantly want you to pay attention to them and what they are doing... and I would be happy to simply be alone... which is why the prairie appeals to me. I am alone there 90% of the time and all I do is read or stare or walk around. I suppose I might go stir crazy without any human contact though and my heart goes out to this man. Thanks for sharing, hon. Kizzes.
ReplyDeleteI find farmers fascinating.
DeleteBecause I've never lived in the countryside, I probably have a very romanticized idea of what it'd be living in a farm. I know it should be backbreaking work. When I drive along an interstate and I see the farmhouses in the horizon I find it very beautiful but very lonely.
I could take being alone for some time but I know I would need company eventually. I guess I'm gregarious by nature.
All I wanted to do when watching Jon's video was to go hug him. He looked so strong and so... alone? Gosh I'm mushy.
XOXO