All on my tongue I want it.

Them: ... sorry, had to go take that phone call.

Me: What happened?

Them: Well, she's having this one issue with her husband....

Me: Oh no! Hope it's nothing serious.

Them: Sex. 

Me: It figures. Isn't it always? But I thought they were pretty adventurous.

Them: ... it seems that she was giving him a blowjob and he grabbed her head.

Me: Well, hawt?

Them: Not. She stopped immediately and told him that was it.

Me: .....?

Them: It's part of the peeves: he does that, it all ends...

Me: .....?

Them: She cannot take it.

Me:.....?

Them: What?

Me: When I'm giving head I kind of expect the guy to put his hand in the back of my head, so...

Them: ....?

Me: Yeah, so then, are we still gonna watch that new movie? Do we have snacks?

We all know that what's common for someone during sex may be somebody else's kink. But to tell you the truth, for the longest time I thought everybody gave head. Everybody. For me, it's always been kind of part of foreplay, like kissing, or caressing. The idea of a man putting his hand on the back of my head to guide the movement during oral is actually kind of hot. But I guess that's what many people may not like: lack of control. Some people like agency even when giving up control. Does that make sense?

For me, that hand in the back of the head is much more about the man taking active part of lovemaking than about him trying to overpower me (which would be somehow hot, too, TBH). But for many people it may be too much. I tried to explain that there is really no way to give a pretty blow job. A real blow job includes gagging a little, there's spit involved and there will be noises. Gagging is almost guaranteed, no matter his size, your spit will get thick and breathing may be an issue for some people. Not to mention that if he is big, your jaw is going to need you to change your technique often. Nobody said that it was gonna be easy!

That's when I think the hand on the head or on the back of the head comes at play, I guess. Maybe having a dick kind of helps me give blow jobs with another perspective? After all, when you're a guy, you've been there, and know how things work. Repaying the favor for men is normal, kind of expected. But I know some men who do not reciprocate (remember all those sticks in the mud? Them) and then the blow becomes a real job. But some people who do not have dicks may have an issue with giving a blow job because then it can became an issue of power play or autonomy. But we all give up something during sex and sex in itself is a power shifting activity. The lead goes from one person to the other and even the most submissive of participants will have an active moment sooner or later. 

I have discovered that I rather enjoy giving head. Never thought much about it until other people made me realize it was not really as common as my interactions with gay men had let me to think. In the world of straight couples, blowjobs are quite the thing, apparently. And some people taken them seriously. I also think it's quite the selfless act, when you're not in a sixty-nine, to give head. All your attention is on him, and to be real, I like looking up at a man when I'm sucking his dick. Yeah, it turns me on to turn him on. Isn't that kind of the reason that we do what we do in bed? But different people give different sex acts different weight, I guess. What I've learned is that there's some people who do not enjoy giving blowjobs. I don't know of anybody who does not like having their dick sucked, but I'm sure there is somebody out there who just doesn't like blow jobs. 

That's why when I heard Doja Cat's new song with SZA I was like 'there's a girl after my own heart'.  It's refreshing hearing a woman talking about blow jobs like that! You don't see that often. It's usually men bragging about getting head, especially in hip-hop. Good for Doja and SZA! I like giving a man a blow job. I like to look at dicks, I like to see how hard a man gets when I'm giving him all my attention and I like when he shows he's enjoying my ministrations. I have no qualms with a man putting his hand on the back of my head or face fucking me. I don't mind the taste of cum, either. All those things that for other people may be turn offs, for me are kind of hot. Even the power play. Maybe specially the power play that comes from giving someone head. So there's that.

But different strokes, right? No pun intended. For some people blow jobs are very important. There was even a presidency hanging on one of those. 

XOXO

P.S. That beautiful man in the video is Alex Landi, an actor (Grey's Anatomy). Damn, is he hot. He cold land on my planet any day.