Fuck and Run

Here's the deal: I have had sex with men who identify as 'straight'. And not with just one or two. Many. I fell off that wagon many a time. I apparently had (I guess I still have?) the propensity to attract that kind of man. Yay me. But allegedly, many gay men go through that 'phase'. I am apparently not alone. All throughout my teens and early twenties I guess I basically got out of my system that desire many gay men have to fuck men who consider themselves straight. And I guess I did it in a very thoroughly way. To this day, the allure of self identified straight men has really lost all its luster. 

Now, with a few of those men though, it was a full-on boyfriend experience: hugging, kissing, oral, anal, you name it, they did it. Then they'd go back to their girlfriends/wives/lives after that, but hey. It was all for fun and I was not really invested emotionally. But with most of those men, it was all pretty Bro-ey as Trevor Harris says: no kissing, barely undressing, somehow hurried, no sensuality, just plain fucking. Wham-Bam-Thank-You-Man. Zip up and leave kind of men. The old fuck and run routine. It was not too bad. With some, it was hot, because they had something I really liked, be it a beautiful body, an awesome dick, were very handsome or I was just in the right mood. Self-identified straight men are good for a hot minute, though. Then it can get somehow boring. It was fantastic to get off at that moment, and some of the men were actually very handsome, but truth be told, it was pretty basic. Even with the ones who were heteroflexible enough to provide something extra and not be a stick in the mud, as Maddie calls them, the experience was fleeting and kind of slightly empty. We were just using each other to get off. After you cum, there's nothing. Literally. 

Don't get me wrong, I do get the appeal. I get why so many gay men consider straight men desirable: the whole bro' thing, the bodies (sometimes the bodies ARE bangin'), the idea of 'seducing' a straight man is also a powerful aphrodisiac. Same goes for men who like to feel 'used' and don't expect to be reciprocated. And as Davey and Trevor point out, those straight men are in OUR turf: having sex with men is our thing and they are just visiting. The Alpha Bottom theory may hold some water, after all. But I think the number one motivation for many gay men to have sex with straight men is the fact that those are straight men who stand for all the 'other' straight men who terrorized, intimidated, scared and secretly turned them on when they were younger and/or in the closet. My research is very impressionistic: my insights come from talking to many, many gay friends and acquaintances who have all, at one point or another in their lives, fucked self-identified straight men.

I don't really have an answer to the question of why is it that gay men consider straight men desirable (the dude could be lying, right??). I think some gay men get off on the idea they have of what a straight man is. Somehow, in their heads fucking a dude who identifies as straight (or that they consider straight) becomes the ne plus ultra of all sexual experiences and that's what makes it so valuable. At the end of the day, I prefer to have sex with gay or bisexual men rather than with self-identified straight men: it's more satisfying, in my eyes. Even if it's just a fuck and run.

XOXO