Fuck and Run
Here's the deal: I have had sex with men who identify as 'straight'. And not with just one or two. Many. I fell off that wagon many a time. I apparently had (I guess I still have?) the propensity to attract that kind of man. Yay me. But allegedly, many gay men go through that 'phase'. I am apparently not alone. All throughout my teens and early twenties I guess I basically got out of my system that desire many gay men have to fuck men who consider themselves straight. And I guess I did it in a very thoroughly way. To this day, the allure of self identified straight men has really lost all its luster.
Now, with a few of those men though, it was a full-on boyfriend experience: hugging, kissing, oral, anal, you name it, they did it. Then they'd go back to their girlfriends/wives/lives after that, but hey. It was all for fun and I was not really invested emotionally. But with most of those men, it was all pretty Bro-ey as Trevor Harris says: no kissing, barely undressing, somehow hurried, no sensuality, just plain fucking. Wham-Bam-Thank-You-Man. Zip up and leave kind of men. The old fuck and run routine. It was not too bad. With some, it was hot, because they had something I really liked, be it a beautiful body, an awesome dick, were very handsome or I was just in the right mood. Self-identified straight men are good for a hot minute, though. Then it can get somehow boring. It was fantastic to get off at that moment, and some of the men were actually very handsome, but truth be told, it was pretty basic. Even with the ones who were heteroflexible enough to provide something extra and not be a stick in the mud, as Maddie calls them, the experience was fleeting and kind of slightly empty. We were just using each other to get off. After you cum, there's nothing. Literally.
Don't get me wrong, I do get the appeal. I get why so many gay men consider straight men desirable: the whole bro' thing, the bodies (sometimes the bodies ARE bangin'), the idea of 'seducing' a straight man is also a powerful aphrodisiac. Same goes for men who like to feel 'used' and don't expect to be reciprocated. And as Davey and Trevor point out, those straight men are in OUR turf: having sex with men is our thing and they are just visiting. The Alpha Bottom theory may hold some water, after all. But I think the number one motivation for many gay men to have sex with straight men is the fact that those are straight men who stand for all the 'other' straight men who terrorized, intimidated, scared and secretly turned them on when they were younger and/or in the closet. My research is very impressionistic: my insights come from talking to many, many gay friends and acquaintances who have all, at one point or another in their lives, fucked self-identified straight men.
I don't really have an answer to the question of why is it that gay men consider straight men desirable (the dude could be lying, right??). I think some gay men get off on the idea they have of what a straight man is. Somehow, in their heads fucking a dude who identifies as straight (or that they consider straight) becomes the ne plus ultra of all sexual experiences and that's what makes it so valuable. At the end of the day, I prefer to have sex with gay or bisexual men rather than with self-identified straight men: it's more satisfying, in my eyes. Even if it's just a fuck and run.
XOXO
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Heterosexual men are men too, so they too are therefore objects of desire. And they too may have a desire to do with men what they may not be able to or cannot find in women. Nothing strange, imho.
ReplyDeleteBut Xersex,
DeleteIf a straight man have the desire to do something with men that they cannot do with women they really are not straight?? They are at least bi. The strange part is the denial. The emotional emptiness is natural for straight men, though.
XOXO
I believe so too. You have no idea how many straight men love to be fucked by other men (maybe even just to get a prostate massage???)
DeleteWe are of the same cloth. I too since being out and even before always was able to attract or I gave off something straight men liked. I have all too many affairs with straight men...like there isn't enough gay men, but still happened. And just this week I met a straight guy through a mutual friend. We exchanged numbers and have texted and then just yesterday the question of would I want to hook up came up!!!! OF COUSRE pictures of importance were exchanged. Hey...I like to know what goods I'm getting!!!!! But we shall see. The kicker? He's is 24!!!!!!!!!!! But then there is the endurance and stamina I love so much. And he is cute. I think were attracted too you we are attracted to. And I know this will be just sex or more but then like you said they always go back to their girls.
ReplyDeleteBut at what point do I say enough...and I look for true amore?
Oh, honey.
DeleteYou have no IDEA. Like a fucking lighting rod. I've been many a straight men 'first'. As if. And I can totally see how a man who claims to be straight (he may have been, to that point) find you attractive. You're charismatic and handsome, so yeah. The problem with straight men is that fucking them is like having cotton candy for breakfast, lunch and dinner.
There comes a moment when you need a real meal.
XOXO
It's the conquest. I have never really been into straight guys, because I wanted more than just a quick fuck and out the door and don't tell anyone and if you see me on the street you don't really know me.
ReplyDeleteI agree.
DeleteThe whole atavistic hunter thing, right? I think that's a big one too. And I can get awesome quick fucks from gay men. Duh. And they can be as hot or hotter than a quickie with a straight dude.
XOXO
Honestly, I think there are very few truly 'straight' men, or women for that matter. The need to identify as straight is more of a religious tendency than anything else. One of the most basic tenets of any religion is the need to make babies and that doesn't happen when 2 people of the same gender sleep, or have sex, together.
ReplyDeleteSeriously!
DeleteI'm with you here. I've had som fucking many men who claim to be straight trying to get hit it it's ridic. I also agree that the need to identify as straight comes from outside pressure, not the guy.
XOXO
HuntleyBiGuy:
ReplyDeleteAre they deeply closeted due to circumstances? Or are they just sampling the forbidden fruit? Yes we are attracted to who ever we are attracted to, as Maddie said, but I think there has to be something there. And I agree with Dave, the 100% straight dude is a unicorn.
XOXO 👨🏼❤️💋👨🏽
I have no idea, bae.
DeleteAnd they are not really 'closeted' because they identify as straight. Not Bi, not Gay. Straight. In their minds, that's their sexual orientation.
It confuses me. Because if a dude is eating me out and then fucking me against a wall, he may be a little gay.
XOXO
HuntleyBiGuy:
DeleteThat sounds like fun. I’ll have to try it sometime 😎
Big says,
ReplyDelete"Straight guys are horny." 🤣🤣🤣 No, GUYS are horny. 😁 As my wife used to sometimes say, "I guess any wet hole will do." But the Bell Curve proves that the number of 100% gay or straight is fairly small, indeed. We are attracted to who we are attracted to.... And the cock doesn't lie. XOXO
Oh, yes.
DeleteThe 'any hole will do' theory. It does happen. If I fuck a straight guy once, he just wants to keep it wet. If we fuck twice, it's a lucky coincidence. If we fuck once a week for two years, that's a fucking -literally- friend with benefits relationship. He's at least bi.
XOXO
Well I learned something new today. I guess there's a reason I call myself a dumb, white guy.
ReplyDeleteHahahaha
DeleteOh, Mr. Shife. You always drop by when a TMI post goes up! LOL
Glad you learned something. One day I'll prepare some questions I've always wanted to ask a straight guy... deal??
XOXO
Love Liz Phair's Guysville album! Hey, traveling this week, so have not had any time to myself. As for 'straight' men... I can hardly keep a 'straight' face when they tell me. No, my little homo friend... like the sky gawd... there is no such thing. We are all on the spectrum. Kizzes.
ReplyDeleteOMGGGGG
DeleteThat album is so raw, so much fun! And I'm the same with 'straight' men. Really.
Safe travels!!!
XOXO
You may find this shocking, but I have only ever hooked up with one straight dude. And here in tinsel town, just about every straight guy gets his dick sucked by his buds or gay men.
ReplyDeleteHahaha
DeleteYes! I have heard that Hollywood really likes head. It's common currency, too.
And I think straight dudes probably take a look at you and decide they'd rather not try.
XOXO
I mean, before the 70s, there were plenty of "straight" men doing such things: A circle jerk here, an anonymous blowjob there.
ReplyDeleteA lot of it is the gentrification of gay culture. Closeted yuppies didn't want anyone to know, and while a generation before, gay lib had included "freeing the homosexual within" (i.e., if you want to try things with guys, do it), the new focus would be on genetic determinism. (The new gay leaders were very white and wealthy, so they were apparently unaware of genetic determinism's ghastly past. But basically if there is a gay gene, the fundies will isolate and eradicate it.)
Moral panics at the time made it worse. This was peak Anita Bryant, and then AIDS happened.
Well, there's always been rough trade out there.
DeleteHave had some of those. But you may be right. White, wealthy gay men have always been the bane of gay existence. And is Anita Bryant still alive? That cunt.
XOXO
I can only speak from my own experience. I am the proverbial "born Gay" guy. I knew the attraction even though I did not know what it was since I was abou 4 years old. It was when I turned 14 that I was able to "seduce" my first adult male. He was straight and, looking back, probably a bit of a pederast. But it satisfied a dream/desire that I had for so long. Jumping ahead, I was living in New Orleans at 17 (pretending to be in my early 20), riding one evening on the St. Charles Car when a really good looking older man sat next to me and pressed his leg against mine. Long story short he took me to the YMCA, got a room and we had very semi-romantic sex. After it was over he handed me a 50 dollar bill. That was about what I earned in a week (it was a long time ago). I don't know if he was straight or not and it did not matter. What it opened in me was a knowledge that I could make a really nice living doing something I could take pleasure in. So, for the next few years that is what I did. In New Orleans, San Francisco and Los Angeles. That was my life and my living. I don't know how many men I was ever with but I picked them up in bars and hotel lobbies and most of them were straight men. Of course all that changed when I was 27, went out to a Gay Bar in West Hollywood to imerse myself in my Gay life and met the man that I was to spend the next 46 years with until he died in 2021. So, yes, there are a lot of straight men (if not most) that want sex with men for whatever reason. A lot of them justify it by paying for it. That was the way it was then and I would be surprised if that is not the way it is today.
ReplyDeleteOMG I love this so much!
DeleteThanks for sharing this story. I would love to hear more about those seven years. It's fascinating, what gay life was in the seventies and eighties.
XOXO
Try for 1965 thru 1975. Ten years that I will never forget. Really happy that I lived through it and finally met the love of my life. Maybe I will eventually write it all down, pretend it is fiction or an anonymous told to or something. Don't know what I would do with it if I did. The 70's and 80's and even 90's have their own story to be told.
Delete