Arietian

 

@BorisVallejo

Aries is the first; Aries is the fastest; Aries is the farthest. Aries sees something they want, and that’s all it takes! Sometimes planning in advance and sometimes having absolutely no forethought at all, Aries charges at the object of their ambition until they crash into eventual victory. These blunt impacts can result in disaster, but that never troubles Aries much. They get back up, shake off any residual daze of confusion, then suddenly they’re already sprinting headlong toward the next obstacle. @jenniferculp

Sadly, no lies were detected, dear Constant Reader. She's describing yours truly. Warts and all.

Jennifer also gushes about this month:

The Spring Equinox and your season have arrived! The Sun spends the season collaborating with Lilith and cuddling up to Chiron and Jupiter in your sign. Mercury, ruler of communication, presages the Sun’s movements with the same choreography. This spring, you’ll loosen the leash on your most suppressed shadow instincts, all in the service of some much-needed healing. Jupiter remains direct in your sign throughout. Your luck is at an all-time high.

I did not understand a word she said, but it sounds cool and I'll run with it. There's more about a very special eclipse (somewhere, probably Timor) and it says I'll be a different version of myself by the time Taurus gets here. Fun month, then??

BTW, wanna know your horoscope? Go to @THEM. I think I got enough, though.

XOXO

P.S. That illustration has nothing to do with reality, of course.