On Queer Spaces
This past weekend I was in Milwaukee and I got to go to This is It!
I had a blast and at the same time I remembered why is it that I liked to go to gay bars so much. We went with a straight couple (they are friends of my friend who lives in Milwaukee) because before that, we went to some Wisconsin Hop Exchange (there was a lot of beer involved) and I could notice that in that über-straight environment I watched myself: not looking at anybody for more than two seconds, smiling without showing teeth and doing that court nod straight men give other men when in confined spaces. I realized I was 'behaving'.
The contrast between the WHE and This Is It was mind-blowing: at the club, I danced, flirted with both men and women, tried something called an Electric Smurf (it had some liqueur and a fluorescent blue something at the bottom) gave money to the performers and almost took a selfie just for Lurkie. But alas, I realized I had left my phone at the hotel and could not take pics. Maybe another time.
But I had a blast and I want to remind you, along with the girls in the video, of the importance of Queer spaces for Queer people: I noticed that my new -straight- friends did not change their behavior in the least when they were in the gay bar, as opposed to me being almost court when we were in that Hop Exchange and letting my hair down at This is It. It's the privilege of being straight: you can fit being yourself in any space, you do not have to ADAPT.
So, this summer, try to visit your local gay bar, or if you are visiting (like I did this last weekend in Milwaukee) try to find the gay watering hole and drop by. And tip the Drag performers: that's how you show solidarity. You could be in Wilton Manors instead of Milwaukee: Tony Evers is a Democrat. Meatball Ron is a fascist wannabe. That, in 2023, makes a HUGE difference.
XOXO
P.S. if you go to Milwaukee you need to stay at the @St. Kate! I stepped into the room and it had some very cool art, a record player (with records to choose from) and a Ukulele!!! Fun! They also had several exhibits, one of them by @LidiaSharapova featuring Anna, a transgender woman who was her subject for three years. Fascinating!!
Sounds like you had a fab time. Now? Come to Minneapolis! Glad you got to let your hair down. I adore gay bars... the more community oriented the better. Our flagship bar - the gay 90's - was purchased by straights who have turned it into teenie bop hell. There's a drag show, of course and a hidey hole for the jock strap crowd, but most of it is Vegas. There's a stripper pole room full of teenie wanna be's and I found the whole place sad. And it's not safe. The straight dudes who come because their GF dragged them or they are into drag queens are mean if you flirt. Thankfully, there are other havens. I don't go much, but I do know their value. Thanks for sharing this, hon. Kizzes.
ReplyDelete"The only thing that drag queens are grooming are their wigs" -- right on, LOL!
ReplyDeleteBig says,
ReplyDeleteEverybody deserves to have a "safe place." It's true that straight people don't need to change a thing. THE most popular gay club here always has a bunch of straights but you rarely see LGBTQ in a straight bar. If they're there, like you, they're being overly cautious. Which is a damn shame. It's a bit easier here for LGBTQ, though. It's the nature of a tourist town. XOXO
great idea of gay places. But do you think straight men despise gays and their blow jobs?
ReplyDeleteDear, I have never even stopped going to queer spaces. While I can have a good time anywhere I'm out, I do find that I reel myself in a little bit when I'm in straight joints only because you never know for sure who is straight and gay and I don't want to get fresh with somebody and have my teeth knocked down my throat. For me going out is a big part of who I am, and it's still a place for us to cut up ,let our hair down ,act as gay and campy and like fools... and not have to worry about offending. This newest generation has no idea what they're missing. That being said back in the day when I did drag on a regular basis, I went out and dragged straight bars after the gay clubs and surprisingly never had any issues. Friends of mine thought I had balls to do that, considering drag was not as well known as it is now. And I found people always to be receptive to it, if not curious. But on weekends I like to get my drink on and get my dance card filled.
ReplyDeleteAnd that's the way it should be!
DeleteAs gay men, we should keep the tradition of gathering in spaces that celebrate and enjoy who we are: cutting up, having a ki-ki, being ourselves. You are right. This generation (I'm talking about GenZ) has kind of lost that kind of sense of community, of unity.
And Drag was for the longest time almost ignored. It's that now Evilgelicals and the Repugs have made it a lightning rod to hide their lack of political point of view.
XOXO
HuntleyBiGuy:
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like you had a mostly gay time this weekend (gay as in fun, because you always have a gay time). We do need to have those safe spaces, as you said, because it doesn’t take much so set off a fragile straight who thinks you’re coming on to him.
XOXO 👨🏼❤️💋👨🏽
Haha
DeleteI did! And we do have to take care of those spaces. In Chicago, the only bars in the suburbs are few and almost forgotten. I need to go out more...
XOXO
One day I will go to Milwaukee
ReplyDeleteYes!
DeleteAnd if you come to visit, you'll have to let us know....
XOXO
Sounds like a lot of fun!
ReplyDeleteIt was surprisingly fun.
DeleteAnd I say surprisingly because you don't think of Milwaukee as place that's jumping...
XOXO
A fabulously gay weekend for a fabulous gay?? Win win.
ReplyDeletexoxo
LMAOOO
DeleteYes, hunty, YES!!
XOXO
I think gay spaces are becoming more need now than in a really long time. Safe space for not only us old coots that just want to party but for so many young LGBTQ folks that are just beginning their life journey and need all the positive examples they can get. Oh, and Lurkie would probable be just a happy with a foto taken back at your hotel as you would down. I know I would.
ReplyDeleteI absolutely agree.
DeleteFunny that in the XXI century we would have to learn the value of Queer spaces, but after all, the Stonewall riots were born in one such space. And you know that Lurkie has accused me of not sharing 'everything' because I don't have a selfie here? Your idea of a selfie at the St. Kate sounds actually quite fun.
XOXO