Five Eight

You don't like players

That's what you say

But you really wouldn't mind a millionaire

You don't like ballers

They don't do nothing for ya

But you'd love a rich man six-foot-two or taller.

Amy Winehouse. Fuck me Pumps

Yeah, that was Amy Winehouse reading me for filth. Because the thing is, I'm biased in favor of tall men. I needed to come clean about that. Not like I've never dated/fucked men who are 5'7" or shorter (I dated a 5'5" short king dynamo that really gave me a run for my money), but I really have a thing for men six feet or taller. So sue me.

But first hear me out. Remember that Cybersocket post I did with porn stars winning an award? Well, most of those video gods are tall. At or over six feet tall. And they are perfect advertisements for tall men being sexy. Duh. And the thing is that I'm not alone in my tall men thing. I was talking to my friend Bri, who is six three and apparently he only dates men who are five feet ten or taller. What?

I swear it's true. He looks at the guy's stats and if the guy is 'too short' he passes. Even if the man is super attractive and/or well built/witty/absolutely fine. The gall. The nerve. The gumption! I almost slapped him silly. But then I'd have to climb on a chair cause Bri is taller than I am. BTW, Bri is very handsome, in his early forties and built like the proverbial brick house. I think he could be choosy. And you know what people say about ‘preferences’ in hookup apps. But really...

And I have to confess that I am what you'd call average: I'm five eight when I'm not wearing Doc Martens, so I'm right there with the rest of the world. Not a pocket gay, not a glamazon. I'm taller than most girls (my sister is five two without heels) but I'm right there with most men, give an inch or two (and we all know an inch or two could be a LOT of snow!). Do you think it may have to do with some atavistic instinct that makes me look for a tall mate because he could save me in the case of a Zombie apocalypse? Because I don't mind standing on tiptoes when kissing a dude? Who the hell knows. Shorter men are fun, I know. And sexy. And I'm sure there are scientific perks that come with being shorter. Well, that and the fact that you could star in your own FunSizeBoys video (Hello, Legrand!). 

In any case, I don't know what it is.  It could be that I can wear stacked sneakers when he's tall, the fact that tall men can reach high shelves at Target or that I really like the feeling of being engulfed by a tall man when he hugs me, I find tall men to be hot. And it's funny because I think that even when they're laying down (my favorite way to approach a tall man) they still give that sense of having a strong presence. Not like I'm going to say 'no' to a man because he's not ready for the basketball court, mind you. I'd take a hot short King any day over a stick in the mud tall glass of water. Besides, form experience, I know that shorter men most times come with a surprise. Yep, I'm talking about that. And no, I wouldn't need a stool to reach it.

XOXO

P.S. this is why I'm spoiled:

@rhyheimshabazz 6'3"

@andyonassis 6'6"

@timkruger 6' 0"

@jjknight 6' 2”

@roccosteele 6' 0"

@cademaddox 6' 0"

@lukemilan 6' 0"

@andrewstark 6' 2"

@sirpeter 6' 3"

@loganstevens 6' 1”

And there’s also you. Yeah, you know I’m talking about you….