On One Night Stands

I don't remember the last one night stand I had. Really. It's absolutely been that long and I imagine, not that memorable if it failed to stay in my mind, right? I think it may have been more than fifteen years? Maybe more?  The one thing that I think could be comparable was a very hot make out session I had with a very hot dude in the parking lot of a club about maybe 2010? I cannot remember the correct year. What can I say? I'm old. 

Here's the tea: I had gone out with Bri-Bri, one of my manfriends and while he was looking for some Red Bull for me (it keeps me from feeling sleepy when I go clubbing) I ran into a guy who was nursing a beer while resting against one of pillars next to the dance floor. He was handsome in that rugged, I-didn't-shave-today way that some men can really pull off. About six feet tall. Jeans. T-shirt. A little bit country and a little bit Rock and Roll. And because I have terrible timing,  I half turned to avoid a waiter and I knocked the beer out of his hand. It fell to the floor. I tried to catch it, but no. I failed at baseball, honey.

So the beer was spilt, apologies were exchanged (he was sorry cause I was putz, so sweet) and I insisted I had to buy him another beer. I did and we started talking. He had long eyelashes and perfect teeth. Big hands and seemed to really be into the music so I asked him to dance. Yeah, I do that sometimes. I was not dirty dancing him or anything like that. I'm not that easy, Mary. I was basically jumping around and encouraging him to loosen up. It worked. In ten minutes we were doing goofy dances (the sprinkler, the prep, the cabbage patch, etc) and laughing our heads off. A man with a sense of humor? Yes, please.

It was fun. Well, it was fun and then hot because those gays filled the dance floor when something House-y and High NRG came up and we had to start dancing closer and closer. Honey, did that man smell good and did he have thighs of steel. The moment he put his hand in the small of my back and drew me in I knew I was in trouble, too. 

Oh, yes, we made out right there on the dance floor. And then we made out some more. I could feel his hard dick against my tummy and his hand on my butt. He really wanted to get closer. But -there's always a but, right?- I had to leave early. It was a work night and I had gone to the club cause Bri-Bri was meeting some guy he had been talking to and I always acted as a backup in case he wanted to get out of some compromising situation (come the moment I would materialize next to Bri-Bri and demand he'd take me home). So I left and he followed me to the parking lot to say good-bye, I guess. I swear I almost gave it up right next to one of the light posts. That man really could kiss. The only thing stopping me was it was too fucking late. Also, that my car is small (I have Hyundai hatchback and that was a big dude) and that I really didn't even have a condom with me (it was the parking lot of a gay club, I'm sure it had seen its share of shenanigans). I know, having been a Boy Scout did not prepare me well for slutdom but at least I can tie good knots. Besides, I was not bringing him home (have you seen Looking for Mr. Goodbar?) and he really did not offer to take me to his (I wonder now, why???). 

So I left. It was very late. Or early, if you look at it that way. I really had to get home. I think I gave him my number, I'm not sure. Maybe he gave me his. This is probably before I would even think about creating a Grindr account, mind you, when people who liked each other actually talked and exchanged numbers. I never called or he never called. I forgot all about him until I started writing this post and realized I don’t have a One Night Stand story to tell you. He was hot, though. Scorchingly. And he had a very nice dick. Oh, yes, I took at look (and maybe a little bit more) at the goodies. I really had to use all my willpower to leave him standing in that parking lot. That dick was really straining those jeans...

So, yeah. One night stands...

XOXO